Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
