no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
