i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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