Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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