I feel like I'm in dance class right now
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
