So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
