Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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