We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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