brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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