i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
The struggles of a small town man whore
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
