if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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