I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
