what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
