just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
