sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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