It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
