He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
