I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
