it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
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