i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize