Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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