Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
