i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
