White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize