I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i think my cat just said my name.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
