We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
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running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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