Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize