Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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