we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
