Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
