S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person