i wish my penis had a tongue
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.