yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
