it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
