I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
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The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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