It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
so let's talk penis.
my shit smells like andre
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
