dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
this is an emotional support booty call
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
