i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
