If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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