i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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