If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
