im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Randomize