my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
