Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
