The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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