Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
