I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize