therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
