I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
