You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
