Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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