doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
