Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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