i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
