Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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