hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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