Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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