so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
