So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
