i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
