WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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