I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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