i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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