Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
