I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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