Banned from zoo.
Again?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
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Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
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From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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