she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
We had sex on a dog bed..
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
